At first, it can be a little intimidating to see how many links there are in their chain. But as they work through the process every day, the chain becomes smaller and smaller. The excitement begins to grow within them. It is fun to see them become excited about finishing. I love how my husband participates in our homeschool where he can. It is a family effort. Even my little one’s care attendant is part of our family. She helps my little one with her school and because of her efforts, my little one is doing amazing in her academic learning. I’m so grateful for her efforts.

Yesterday, one of my kiddos had a unit assessment. The day before, she had her review. There were a lot of things that she got wrong on the review because she was hurrying through it. Yesterday, she got most of her work on the assessment correct. But she had become stuck on two problems that she couldn’t figure out. She didn’t want to get them wrong, and she wanted my help. I gave her the accommodations that I was allowed to, but since it was an assessment, I could not help her. She had to do the work without my help.

This was so frustrating to her. She just wanted my help. Why wasn’t I helping her? She wanted to very badly to be angry with me. She has chosen that in the past. It never served her or me very well. Yesterday she chose to make a different choice. I’m so proud of her. Because she chose not to be angry with me, she chose unity instead of division. It was hard not to give into those big emotions. Those emotions are so powerful. You know what? She has power too. I’m so impressed that she used that power yesterday.

I have learned over the years that when she gets stuck., she asks for help. That alone is a great skill. Not everyone asks for help. I ask her what she has done so that I know that she has given her greatest effort to find the answer. I have learned that her preference is not to struggle through the difficult emotions, but to instead look for all of the possible ways to make her challenge easier. Does this sound familiar? I know that I have done this. I also know from my own experience, that if I am always avoiding the hard things that will no doubt bring growth to me, I will never stop looking for the easy way out. I learned that by choosing the hardship of enduring through the trial, growth comes, and it is beautiful.

I decided as a parent that I will teach my kids to look to God and endure the trial. It is so hard. Some of them get so angry with me for this. They are so stuck that they cannot see the beautiful lesson I am trying to show them. It’s okay, they don’t have to love me when they are struggling. This isn’t about me. It’s about them. I know their capabilities. I know that they can achieve such greatness. It is in them. And they always do. They always overcome. I am so proud of the great efforts that they make. I can see the progress in them. Even if they cannot. I have to remember to show them often. Give them the praise they need to hear and deserve to know. They do hard things every day. It is really amazing.

This makes me think about the type of parent God is. We have heavenly parents. They are a partnership. They love us so much. We cannot even comprehend. They celebrate our victories over our trials. They weep and mourn with us when we struggle. They send angels on earth and angels in heaven to be with us. We can’t see those angels in heaven, but we surely can see the angels on earth. Those dear friends that listen to inspiration and show up on our doorstep with flowers. They have no idea why they needed to buy them and bring them over. But I know. My Heavenly Parents sent them to me. Look for them in your life. They are there.

They patiently wait as we endure big trails and challenges. They don’t hold it against us when we are angry at them. They are patient as they wait for us to figure things out. They know our true potential. Our divine potential as their celestial children. They know when we come up against something that is too big, and They send us aid. We don’t always know it is there. It is so hard to see that help when we are stuck in the mud. The mud holds fast. It smothers us. It won’t let go. We feel that we are sinking. We don’t know if we will ever make it out. It feels too strong. We will be devoured by it. The entire time we are stuck, they are sending angels. They are calling on those around us that can help and will accept the call to help. They know that together, we will conquer the challenge and we will overcome.

Jesus Christ felt alone on the cross before He died. He had to. He had to know the loss of God’s presence to feel all that we will feel in this life. Even the loss of God’s spirit with Him. We feel this every day. We don’t have that clear connection that Christ had. We have to work so very hard to have it. Even the smallest worldly distractions keep us from feeling Him. That won’t be the case forever. But for now, it is our reality. How can you strive to feel God in your life more?

While my daughter was struggling with her heavy emotions, I tried to remind her that she did an amazing job on her assessment. She had over 60 math problems to solve and she only had 5 wrong and the last two problems that she was stuck on. She was so stuck that she couldn’t even see how wonderful that was. Those two problems had turned her into a puddle of tears and frustration.

I had her write down all of her feelings. The first thing she said was I’m a failure. Wow. We had to dissect that thought. First, that is not an emotion. Second, most likely all of the heavy emotions that she was feeling had been tied to that thought. I had her write it down. Then I had her name all of the emotions that she was feeling. Then we made a chart. One side was all of the thoughts that she had about herself and her struggle with math that were true, and the other side was all of the thoughts that she had about herself and her math that were not true. I then asked her how many questions she had gotten wrong. She counted and realized that only five were incorrect. Then I told her how many problems there were. I had her do the math and asked her if she had failed. She realized that she did not fail, but that she performed better than she normally does. I asked her if this helped her. She then immediately went back to the difficulty of her last two math problems. She was stuck again. She couldn’t enjoy the great work that she had done because she still had the last two problems looming over her. She just wanted to be done.

I never actually saw what she wrote down that day. What I did see was my girl, collect herself. Walk around for a bit to clear her mind and do something physical. Then she came back and hit school hard. Once she finished the assessment, I was able to walk her through the process to get to the correct answers. She had been so close. She was right at the correct answer but in her hurry to finish, she missed the answer that was right in front her. I’m not even a little bit upset. This is how she learns. But. She. Is. Learning. It is beautiful to watch. I’m so proud of her.

I used to get right into the mud with her. That didn’t help either of us. It caused frustration for us both and we would both become stuck in the mud. It was physically, mentally and emotionally draining. I finally realized that I needed to let my child suffer in the mud while I stood on safe ground and assist her to the best of my ability. Jumping in the mud would not help her, even though it seems like the right answer at times. I had to stand on firm ground and reach to her. Then she has to choose to accept the help that is being offered and not be angry that I didn’t help her how she wanted me to help her.

I’m so grateful that I learned this. It works so much better than being stuck in the mud together. I hope she realizes this too. I’m grateful that it helps me have a greater understanding of how God parents us. It is powerful. I love them. I hope that you can find a desire to learn more about Them. That comes through prayer. I am excited for you to experience it.