This last year has been an amazing journey for me strengthening my connection to Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Parents. This blog was a huge part of that. When this all started, I would wake up frequently in the middle of the night with inspiration. I had to write it down or it would be forgotten in the morning. One morning I woke up to this is my phone notes: “Ready to Start a new phase. A different phase.”

What an interesting thing to wake up to! The Google definition of phase is: noun – a distinct period or stage in a series of events or a process of change or development; verb – carry out (something) in gradual steps.

When I first read this, I was excited to get started and didn’t even bat an eye. Honestly, I was kept so busy learning new things that I didn’t even pause to research what phase really meant. This winter, I have felt the weight of my SAD disorder pull me from my desire to post as much as I did previously. I just want to sleep more. I’m too cold to sit at the computer. There are always reasons that we can come up with keep us from doing what we need to do.

I would talk with Heavenly Father about it and of course, He left it up to me to choose. He patiently waited for me to be ready to blog again, but He also helped me to prepare by inspiring me to read certain books and scriptures. What an amazing Father we have. He met me where I was at and gave me the grace I needed. I know now, that I wasn’t doing nothing, I was reading, studying, and pondering all that He was sharing with me.

This last week, I remembered a skill that I learned previously when things were a struggle for me. Stop thinking about it and just do it! The longer I stayed where I was and thought about doing the thing that I wasn’t motivated to do, the easier it was to talk myself out of it. If I just act right when I have the thought to do something good, I will always conquer my “I don’t want to’s”.

I have been nervous about posting daily again, what if I am not inspired to write anything? It is always interesting to me how the thoughts of things to write about come into my mind. They are not my own thoughts and Heavenly Father guides me as I write. These posts are not always from my brain, but they are from my own experiences and He helps me to put it all together. Scriptures or talks come to my mind as I need them and it truly is an amazing experience to have with Him. Sometimes I go back and read an old post and am amazed at the things I wrote.

This morning, as I wondered what to write about, I was thinking about how I just bought a new set of scriptures. I am excited about this, but also nervous. I have never before marked my scriptures in any sort of organized way. I was a little intimidated to figure out how I wanted to mark my scriptures. There are so many ways, and I wanted to be able to find my favorite scriptures easily.

In our church, the first Sunday of every month is our Fast and Testimony meeting. I never enjoyed fasting. I also never did it correctly. I just missed my meals and that was it. I never started with a prayer. I never had a purpose to fast. I never mentally and spiritually connected my “starving” to something worth sacrificing a meal for.

Now, I am ready. Now, I know how to fast with a purpose. Now, I know how to feed myself in a different way. This Sunday, I fasted. Since my children are learning how to fast, we leave the choice up to them. They can choose to fast or not, and they can choose how many meals they will fast for.

I started off preparing my body to fast for long a 24-hour period by just doing one meal: breakfast. Then, when I felt ready, and I was really motivated, I was able to fast for 24 hours. The first time I did this I had a really tender experience and I have committed myself to fasting for 24 hours from now on if possible. If I am sick, or something else is going on when fasting for 24 hours isn’t safe, I won’t.

This last Sunday, while my family was breaking their fast with lunch, I went into a room with the sun shining brightly and started searching for ideas to mark my scriptures. I became inspired and excited to begin. I got out all of my fine-tip markers, my colored pencils, my translucent post it notes, another journal for note taking, and of course, my new set of scriptures.

The first markings were scary for me to do, but as I began, the excitement took over and I spent the next two hours making notes, marking, documenting, cross referencing and the time flew by. I wasn’t just reading my scriptures; I was devouring them. I was feeding myself in a way that food and water could not fill me.

2 Nephi 32:2 “…Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.”

John 4:14 “But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”

On this day, these two scriptures had new meaning to me. I had always known what they meant, but I had never experienced it for myself. I was so hungry that day. My family was eating and I could smell their food. My thirst was great on this Fast Sunday. In fact, I had been so thirsty that the morning that I went and grabbed my water bottle and started to drink. Before I could swallowed the first mouthful, I remembered that I had chosen to do a complete fast of water and food. I did not swallow but held the water in my mouth and went to the sink to spit it out. I laughed at myself and thanked Heavenly Father for helping me to remember. I didn’t want to break my fast before it had even begun.

However, when I sat in this room filled with sunshine and spent great effort studying them, my hunger and thirst was gone and indeed was satisfied by a different source. What an amazing experience. I know that if I choose to make a sacrifice and put Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ first, They will bless my efforts in ways that I cannot understand.

My friend, I would love for you to have this experience with your scriptures. You don’t have to fast to experience it. Just open them up. You can always use electronic scriptures and highlight and make notes that way. However you decide to read and study your scriptures doesn’t really matter, what truly matters is that you learn to read them and eventually, you will find that time has flown by and you are feed in a way that you didn’t know was possible.

I love the image that I found for this post. The light that comes from reading the scriptures truly is a light that I can feel as I read them. It fills my soul with light and I feel ready to take on the day. I wish for you to experience this light in this ever-darkening world.