Over the weekend I had the privilege of sitting with the missionaries at they taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was the most amazing experience. The Spirit was so powerful as we testified about faith in Jesus Christ, and repentance.

One woman had a hard time understanding that Jesus Christ could forgive those that tortured Him and hung Him on the cross to be crucified. The missionaries explained that it was because of a love that we cannot understand. A Celestial love that Jesus Christ has for each of us helped Him to forgive those that did not understand what they were doing.

“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”  (Luke 23:34 KJV)

A celestial love that we cannot comprehend with our limited mortal capacity, is what Jesus had. It is what led Him to the cross. He had a purpose: to finish the will of the Father. Christ had the power to call down legions of angels and to release Himself from His bonds and escape. No, He knew that this was His path to take. A path that would bring eternal life to us all. A path that would lead Him to pain, grief, loneliness, torture and death. Yet still, He chose it. He chose to do this for you and for me.

Later in the lesson, we talked about repentance. This was a concept that our friend heard before but didn’t really understand. The missionaries explained what it means to repent. True repentance begins with Faith in Jesus Christ.

Before Jesus was captured, taken to trial, tortured, and ultimately killed after being hung on the cross, there was the Garden. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus left his beloved apostles and began to suffer the sins of the world. In the Garden, He suffered all of our pains, sorrows, sins, afflictions of every kind. He bled from every pore. He suffered the hurtful things that were done to you, and the hurtful things that you did to others. He felt the pain of your broken arm, your depression, your loss of a loved one, your hate and anger, your broken heart; He felt it all. For every single one of us.

At some point, He asked “O Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me”. Even Jesus felt that this was too much. I like to think that at this point in His suffering, right after He said these words, your face and my face came into His mind. His perfect love buoyed Him and He was able to pull all of His remaining strength together. “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt.” And He continued to fulfill His mission to bring the gift of the Atonement of our Sins to the world.

Repentance involves a might change of heart. A desire to turn away from old and unrighteous ways and to turn to Christ as we continue our lives. It isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. I can testify of this. This entire blog has been about how I changed my life and continue to find ways to become better. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ want to help us turn away from things that will not bring us Joy; They want to help us find this Joy. The gospel of Jesus Christ is Joy.

Having a Godly sorrow will help us to see the things that we were doing that were not good and help us to find the desire to ask for forgiveness.

In Alma, chapter 36, Alma the Younger and his friends were going about and destroying the church. One day, Alma and his friends were out and an angel appeared. The boys fell to the earth in fear. The angel told Alma not to seek to destroy the church anymore. Alma fell to the earth and was in a coma like state. For three days he was paralyzed.

“I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins. Yea, I did remember all my sin and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments. Yea, and I had murdered many of his children or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.”

“And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.”

“And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding was my pain!”

I love this story of Alma the Younger, because I have had this same experience. I was able to feel this exact Joy that Alma did. “my soul was filled with joy as exceeding was my pain” My Joy was greater than the pains, sufferings, and torments of my previous sins that I was turning away from.

Repentance is not a one-time use. We will need to use repentance daily in our lives. Do not fear it. Look forward to it. Every time we use repentance, we go to our elder brother, Jesus Christ in that Garden and we accept of His sacrifice to suffer our afflictions and sins so that we can become clean and pure once again. We are with Him in the Garden every time we choose to turn away from our sins and accept His gift to us.  

I cannot think of a more beautiful thing, than this. We often think of Christ being there for us in our hardest moments of life. But, as I was with the missionaries, talking about repentance, I had this image come to my mind of me going into that Garden with Christ in His most difficult time and being with Him. Supporting Him as He finished His most important work upon the earth. This is something that I will cherish my whole life. This is something that will help me to use repentance more often. This will help me to use the gift of the atonement in a more sacred way.

If you have any questions or want to find a missionary near you, here is a link.