I have a kiddo that struggles with this same issue. It is interesting to watch her thought processes. She says no even as she is doing the thing. It is just in her personality to kick back and constantly argue. Some days this is frustrating. Other days, I can take a step back and kind of smile to myself as she wrestles with doing the thing that she knows she should do, but now doesn’t want to do because it came across to her as a demand.

When my husband and I were in our pre-kid time of life, there was a Saturday night adult meeting for church. I was thinking about going, and then a family member called to make sure that I was going. I can’t remember how this conversation even went. I am sure they didn’t say anything in a demanding way. But I was so offended that they told me to go that I immediately didn’t want to go anymore.

I’m sad to say that I never went. I look back at that time now, and instead of feeling the pride and stubbornness I felt so strongly back then, I feel shame and disappointment in myself. How could I let those feelings keep me from any blessings that I would have received if I had just gone? What message might have been given that night that I very possibly needed to hear?

How often do you let pride and stubbornness get in the way of your growth? Satan loves pride. It is one of his favorite tools to use on us. He tells us that we don’t need to do the things that really matter in this life. We don’t need church. We know enough. There isn’t a God why waste your time?

People at church are hypocrites. He used to tell me that. I stopped going to church for a time because of that reason. You know why I really stopped going? I wasn’t doing the things that I should have been doing. I used it as an excuse not to go. I let my transgressions be the reason that I separated myself from God. I used the actions of others to be the reason that I told to myself I wasn’t going anymore.

After coming back to church, I see differently now. I know that people are going to be mean and say offensive and thoughtless things. I work really hard to see them as children of God. I try to see things from their perspective. To give them grace. Even if I don’t understand it. Even if I am struggling with the hurt that came from the interaction with this person.

This has been an amazing experience for me. Instead of choosing the easier path of hatred, anger, and resentment; I chose to forgive. Sometimes I needed to forgive again and again each day. You know what? It. Was. Worth. It.

I’m so glad that I learned how to do this. It did not come easy to me. I struggled with it. It took me about three years to move past something that happened at church. But no matter what, I didn’t stop going. I didn’t tell the entire congregation about what happened so that I could be heard and justified. I kept it to myself and my close support group.

I wrestled with forgiveness for a long time. It was exhausting. But you know what? It became possible. I was able to forgive. Don’t give up. I felt the pull to give up and instead sit in my anger and hurt. It was very tempting. Satan is good at what he does.

I kept pushing though. I was relentless in my desire to come to a forgiving heart. I worked hard for that gift. Forgiveness is a great gift! Jesus Christ gave us one of the greatest gifts! The gift to be forgiven and the ability to fully and lovingly forgive.

There are some very big hurts and transgressions that will happen in this life. There are some things that feel impossible to forgive. I know this. I am not naive. Forgiving them, is the beginning of the path to healing for you. I know that might not make any sense to you in your anguish and deep hurt.

I know that feeling that is not a choice you make. But you do have the power to feel differently. It will take a lot of work and effort. It will be exhausting. But it is possible. And peace will come.

You don’t have to try. You can stay where you are. It is totally up to you. I just want to share with you that it is possible. I have done it. I still work to do it with all of my life experiences.

When I choose forgiveness, I don’t have to live in the anguish and hurt. That is exhausting too. When I choose forgiveness, I feel so much lighter. The darkness isn’t as thick. It is easier to feel Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Their light becomes much brighter to me.

Most important, don’t forget to forgive yourself. Did you know better? Yes. Could you have done differently? Yes. But it is so important that we have agency. We get to make mistakes and be stubborn because of Jesus Christ’s atonement. They still love us even when we don’t choose them. They patiently wait for us to seek them out. This life just becomes easier when we turn to them.